Stumbling upon joy

 Some days joy is hard to come by and I find myself searching and searching and searching… The other day I ran into the grocery store to get eggs while Abe and Scarlett waited patiently at the book store around the corner. I found, what I thought, was the most amazing deal on eggs and gave myself a pat on the back. On our way home, I told Abe about that “awesome” deal I got on those eggs, when he informed me that I actually paid a dollar more an got less eggs than usual. I roll my eyes in frustation with myself, there  are those C’s I got in math class coming back to haunt me. As we get home and I’m unloading the car, I drop the bag full of eggs. Wonderful! Three dozen eggs cracked and splattered all over our driveway… Those eggs just got a whole lot more expensive… I picked up the bag and hurried inside to try and salvage what I could. As I am rinsing the eggs that aren’t currently being scrambled on my driveway, I notice an odd cold sensation on my foot. Thinking that it’s just some water from the counter full of wet, freshly rinsed eggs, I continue. Until I notice a lovely bright orange substance all over my countertop. Even better, the bag I carried the eggs in with has a hole and I now have an egg covered countertop, floor and foot. “Can this day just be over?!”, I mumble to myself as Scarlett wales in the background because I won’t let her have a pen that dropped from the counter in the hysteria of the egg debacle. No, a crying toddler, broken eggs and a sticky counter top and floor aren’t the end of the world but sometimes it sure does feel like it.

“Joy is the echo of God’s life within us.” 

Joseph Marmion

 Joy is one of the main reasons I started this blog, I find myself wondering on a regular basis where do I find my joy. I was listening to the radio and that was a question one of the djs IMG_5440asked the other. As I listened to their responses I though to myself where does my joy come from, the Lord? Well, yes of course! I most definitely find my deepest most fulfilling joy from the Lord but where else in my life do I seek it out and find it? I just didn’t know, I couldn’t pin point anything really that made me joyful down deep To my soul. I know where my daughter’s joy is, it’s in eating freshly popped popcorn or watching a Peppa Pig episode she’s seen too many times to count, playing in grandma’s waterfall and throwing rocks or in getting to take a swig of Daddy’s big cup full of chocolate milk. I know where Abe’s joy is, it’s in going to the gym and makingIMG_5452
Scarlett giggle so hard she squeals or in accomplishing an awesome new task at work or making me grin from ear to ear with a sweet, thoughtful gesture. I often find myself wondering where my joy is, what is it that makes me smile and brings out the best in me. While I love to cook and scrounge around a thrift store or eat the freshly harvested vegetables out of my garden, yes, those things make make me happy but those things don’t bring me joy. Not the kind of joy you feel down in your soul anyway. It finally hit me though, today as I was watching  Scarlett eat peaches and run through the puddles in the driveway after it rained;
it was in her eyes and her smile. That is what brought me that deep meaningful joy. I find my joy in people, the people I love. It’s in Abe’s smile when he’s at the gym or when he tells me how great it feels to accomplish something amazing at work; it’s in Scarlett’s eyes when she’s eating that popcorn or drinking that milk or running from the “tickle monster” and jumping on the bed. Sometimes my joy isn’t in something tangible but rather something not always seen until I really take in a moment.

IMG_5448In the day to day run around I so often forget to just take in the little moments in life. It’s so easy to forget what truly matters and what’s truly worthy of my joy. A clean house is nice but Scarlett’s giggle is so much nicer. Slowing down and learning to embrace life as it comes is something I’m not always good at. I wish I would’ve laughed at those broken eggs or picked up my frustrated daughter and made her smile. Those are moments I can’t do over, no matter how much I wish I could. Life is full of broken egg moments. Finding the joy isn’t always easy but if I look close enough and listen hard enough I know I’ll be able to find it.

 

Count it all JOY, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 

James 1:2-3

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